Everybody is studying for the test or busy with the assignment or doing pre reads in the evening. Suddenly the laptop flashes a mail with the subject “Birthday Boy”(BB) asking us to congregate in the hostel lobby or the auditorium to celebrate one of our batchmate’s birthday. We, being the time management gurus set the alarms in our clocks and cellphones to wake us up at 12 am(no way can one afford to sleep as early as 12 am but why take a chance). The mail has changed our priorities now. Preparations are on, No not for the assignments or pre reads or tests but for the bumps.
I was in a fix as to how to make a memorable impact (you know where, right??) in the ‘bumps’ ceremony. An idea flashed and I called up Sippi productions to enquire whether they still retained thakur’s shoes( Ref: sholey movie. Customized shoes with nails. ). Obviously they were not willing to part with them. After all, film industry people too have birthdays. Anyways an urgent brainstorming session was called and everybody pitched in with their ideas about delivering the best (kicks). Everybody reminisces the last day when he kicked his friend so hard that he flew up to his room on the first floor. Mind you, this is serious stuff and nobody laughs. Rather other guys come up with their own ‘Real’ stories. Guess, all news channels overheard us someday and resorted to showing ‘Breaking news’. In a nutshell, each story says, ”I am Hercules. Nobody can stand my kicks, Period”.
Ok, 15 minutes remaining to 12 o’clock and everybody departs to come back with sports shoes on in just 5 minutes. I wish this could be the parameter for marks on punctuality. One small observation,” The Product life cycle of a shoe = duration of birthday bumps”. This rule applies to all ‘birthday bumps enthusiasts’ irrespective of political, social, economic and technological factors ( Ref: PEST. Go to http://www.wikipedia.com). It’s a blot on your self esteem and integrity if your shoe doesn’t wear off after giving bumps. We knock the birthday boy’s room and no response. No problem, happens all the time. We trace our friend down huddled in the wash room’s corner. May be, that’s why they say,”Men are dogs”. However a subtle difference here- we didn’t even have to smell any of the BB’s belongings to track him down. No wonder, FBI and CBI are coming for the campus placements this year.
Amidst this hue (colors of our excitement) and cry (of our BB) we take him to the green auditorium. BB, a dynamic manager otherwise suddenly transforms into a meek mouse begging for mercy. Huh, how the hell did this mouse forget the last time he played a ‘forward’ from the ‘birthday bumps’ team. Some innovative statements like, “I have a slip disc”,”Doctor has recommended bed rest” or rather “An ant died under my car so I am depressed”. Who knows an insect lover goes soft on our BB with this strategy. Moreover girls are around to watch the show so our BB has to request for mercy in a hushed tone as well as try to cover his nervousness with a fake smile to look his manly best. This is how one learns crisis management.
The cake is brought and the BB is forced to nose dive into it. Every nook and corner of his face is religiously smeared with cake. Photographs are taken though in most pics BB is the least visible. What else can be expected when 261 people vie for their pics at the same time? Anyways we preserve our BB from getting lynched for the most awaited activity, “Birthday bumps”. Four guys lift our friend at a respectable height. However we have the facility of customizing the ground clearance as per individual demands. The harder you kick the more sense of achievement dawns into you. Just one loud cry of the BB and the frustration of grueling lectures, long assignments, lengthy chapters goes off into oblivion. Nothing else can be more satisfying than the punching bag itself complementing your kicks with different versions of cries. A good business idea for ‘Artificial Intelligence’ guys. I want my percentage in the profit.
Sometimes it so happens that any other guy who tries to be more vocal and act smart while kicking lands himself in a soup and gets bumps without any reason. So try to be low profile while doing such kicking activities. Do your duty and quietly make an exit. Moreover be ready to run anytime as the crowd may celebrate your unofficial birthday. I do not have the photographs of the bumps session as the photographer himself was busy giving bumps. Some questions remain unanswered till now -Did anyone wish “Happy birthday” to our BB? Where is he? If he’s in his room then who took our swollen friend back to his room? Not sure about the answers. Anyways it’s alright to forget silly things while much more important tasks are being executed. In the next day class our BB is the most noticeable guy, marketing different brands of pain relievers. All in all this 45 minutes celebration is one of the best stress busters and we all eagerly wait for someone else’s (not ours) birthday to come everyday.
P.S. These bumps are given by thorough Great Lakes professionals. So, I would reiterate Guru John Cena’s words ,”PLEASE DON’T TRY THIS”.
Some of the birthday pics:
pic 1: Scary Vighnesh(Kindly avoid seeing if suffering from Heart problems)
Pic 2: Farid nose diving.
Pic 3: Sumit (blue tshit) with his wife and two fellow goons infront of the canteen.